I guess there is really no such thing as world peace.

I told myself not to stoop to your level of bitch blogging but the temptation is too hard to resist, especially since you practically sent me an invitation by taking such great efforts to hide yourself in someone else's blog. Well, at least, I'm blogging in my OWN blog.

it wasn't just a small trival matter and I thought you should know better. It was the many many small trival things that we tried to forgive and tolerated that build up the whole damn unpleasentness because you never stopped triggering the negative emotions. We could have continued on this surface-friendly relationship or even really become good friends if you didn't

1. continue hurting us with your selfish actions
2. did all the stupid, childish things to stab us in the back
3. turn your back on us and run to a new friend to mingle without telling us and simply giving us the excuse that you "never see us" or whatsoever excuses that i cannot even remember because they are so obviously lies.

And well, we didn't cut off ties. You did. You said you couldn't get along with us, and that you didn't want to join us anymore. We never said "I wanna cut ties with you" or "I don't wanna be your friend anymore.".

Yes we were unhappy, but its not like we never told you straight in the face before. I remember telling you off about your sucky attitude on the first day of school reopen in our 2nd year but you just gave me a cheeky grin and shrugged it off, totally acting like you are unaware of my boiling anger. So, to hell if you say we put on a face that says " I DONT HATE YOU I LIKE YOU, YOU ARE MY FRIEND.", because really, my face says "I DON'T HATE YOU, I JUST DISLIKE WHAT YOU DO AND I TOLERATE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FRIEND.".

Seriously, you never valued the friendship, I valued it. Because if i didn't, then despite all the previous bad things you've done, I wouldn't have still been so disappointed and hurt by you so badly when you ignored my desperate calls for help to play your stupid arcade games. I fucking cried over that, and I have witnesses for that. 

And I don't twist facts around, I have values. You don't have. You manipulate people into thinking that we've outcast you when you were the one who kept a black face and not talked despite us asking you many times "what is wrong?" and if you are "ok.". All you did was shake your head, nod your head and it pissed us off because we all know you aint a mute and you obviously found your voice when you were talking to your new friend.

I don't have satisfaction with you being miserable. Because if i did, then I should be all happy and just enjoying myself with whatever stunts you pulled since a long time ago. But no, I'm annoyed, ran out of patience and convinced that you are the most selfish and distorted person I've known. It's like you live in your own self-denial world where you think you've done us kindness and that you've showered us with your intelligence.

I didn't gain much from your contribution, seriously. Because if I did, then I wonder why when we check the marks allocation for our project work, it seems like we scored well in all but a particular part that you did? So maybe, you were the one who gained.

If that's not true, then definitely, you gain my sympathy for being such a miserable soul where you are totally crushed and needs a slap from someone to wake up.

This is my toast to you for severing the last thread of compassion I had for you. To think that I was reminiscing the rare good times we spent together and worrying that you might not find someone you can rely as a friend in class. Lucky you, you have someone else from another class to rely on. So, appreciate your new friend and stop taking him for granted.


Bye Bye.

it's the time of the mth to be upset again.

it's nt helping with things happening arnd me.

"trouble is a fren, yeah trouble is a fren, uh oh ~" *sings*

I hate exams.

but what i hate even more is that i'm being distracted and affected by unnecessary things.


Let's all make a toast and cheers to Soh Ying Ying being a failure.
 

Alright.

Eugene taught me not to care so...


[ENTRY DELETED]

i'm a bad daughter.
i'm a bad sister.
i'm a bad friend.
i'm a bad groupmate.
i'm a bad classmate.
i'm a bad person.
i'm a bad girl.


It's like you build a bridge between you and someone else, you want to cross over to the other side but u're scared and afraid you will fall if you tried to walk on that bridge.

I should be finishing all my issue 4 designs now but apparently I got distracted again.

And I barely started for like half an hr.

hahaha. I'll just do finish this thing I'm supposed to do cuz Charzzy & Beefy tagged me.
( it could be a normal day. )

 I've been feeling emo for the past few days/weeks.
It's bad, cuz i'm unfocused, i dun prioritise, i just stone and think of things that I really shdn't be thinking.

I thought it was cuz its the time of the mth, but it's over so why is it still like this?

( I have a theory about my life, care to read? )

Yes, I know I haven been blogging about again.

Just that, nothing interesting happened and its been tiring the past few days.

Stayed overnight in school yesterday again, went home like 7am this morning. Then slept a couple of hours before I got woken up by EFG's phone call and couldn't fall back asleep, damn.

So, went school earlier to help the guys with the goodie bag packing and then head off to my Specialist Diploma class! Today's like the first day of a new module for Specialist Diploma so Ms Kwa bought us cupcakes from Crystal Jade as early Christmas present.





Not bad ah, the cake. Normal tasting but the cute milk chocolate decor ontop very nice.

After class, went to Starbucks @ Holland V with Fizh and Yanzhao to chill. Fizh treat drinks, my 'sweetheart' so rich. Muahaha.
Yanzhao kept insulting me & threatening me about some stuffs while Fizh kept laughing and 'girl-watching'.

Oh yah, yesterday night, went to Greenwood Fish Market @ Hillcrest Park to eat! DAMN NICE LA THE BAKED SALMON AND THE MASH POTATO. The crabmeat spaghetti vongole is damn good also. But the price is like, average $22?


Charcoal-grilled NZ Pink Snapple


Fish & Chips


Crabmeat Spaghetti Vongole


Baked Salmon =)

Will try to upload more of the pictures there soon, but must wait.

IM HOME ALONE.

Yeah, Grandma's staying in the hospital, Dad's working and my sister's still in Hong Kong.
Just got back from the hospital, my grandma stared at me for like really really long when I went to visit her. For a sec, I thought she had memory lost or I called the wrong person Ah Ma.

It's as if I just realised for the first time how old and frail my grandma looks and I couldn't help but wonder how I'll look when I'm older.

Bleahs.

Anyway, had another Design & Illustration CA today. Today's assignment was to design a book cover. And I finished it really quick - the previous CA, I couldn't finish my work in time and it was super duper crappy.

I'm awake at this unearthly time to blog because my dear grandma woke me up to call an ambulance for her.

She's been feeling uncomfortable since the night before but refused to see any doctor. She couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard she tried so she decided to wake me up. I barely slept for an hour since she had been signing and whining really loud before saying she wants to go to the hospital.

So my dad and I made the phone calls, and honestly, why do the phone operators have to ask so many questions before sending an ambulance! All I need is freaking ambulance to my grandma to the hospital yet I'm being questioned about when she had started feeling uncomfortable, what's wrong with her, Is she breathing properly etc.

But then, the ambulance came really quick. A Chinese guy along with two Malay guys came with some equipments and started to ask my grandma questions, but shoot, she only speaks dialect and the closest language they know is Chinese. The Chinese guy kept telling me to tell my grandma not to speak, not to move but she kept looking around, trying to get me to get things (phonebook, handbag) for her.

I wasn't worried about her in the first place and I seriously just wanted to get back to bed and sleep. But then when I saw the paramedics sticking stuff to her body to measure her heartbeat or something, I started to freak out and worried loads. It pissed me, when the two Malay guys were giggling at their own private joke (probably because my grandma doesn't wear a bra and they were sticking the stuffs at her chest area.). But then, COME ON, you have a freaking WORRIED family member(s) here and GIGGLING isn't exactly the best way to reassure them that the patient is in good hands!

Urgh. I got even more irritated when they didn't let me tag along because they can only take one family member along with them on the ambulance.

I hope my Grandma will be alright, now is seriously not the right time for anything bad to happen to her. Don't let my sister come back home before she even starts to have fun, pls.